If it matters to you, give it somewhere to go

There are probably things you’d really like to do that you’ve been talking about for a while.

A trip you want to take. Someone you keep meaning to catch up with. Something you’d like to learn. A project you want to start. A weekend with nothing planned. More time outside. More fun. More time doing something simply because you enjoy it.

You genuinely want these things to happen.

But somehow they keep getting pushed out.

Meanwhile, meetings get booked. Appointments go in the calendar. Deadlines are set. Work gets done. Other people ask for things and we find a way to fit them in.

The things that demand our attention tend to get it. But the things that matter to us don’t always have the same urgency.

And that’s how another month, year, or sometimes a decade can go by with us still saying, “I’d really like to do that.”

Wanting something isn’t always enough

We can care deeply about something without making it happen.

Not because we’re lazy or don’t want it enough. Life is full, and there are plenty of things competing for our time, attention and energy.

Some things also come with a built-in structure that makes them happen.

If you have a meeting at 10am on Tuesday, there’s a time and a place for it. If a bill is due on Friday, there’s a deadline. If someone is expecting something from you, there’s accountability.

But “I’d love to spend more time with my sister” doesn’t come with any of that.

Neither does taking the trip you’ve talked about for years.

Or getting back into painting.

Or having a few days to yourself.

Or going to that restaurant you’ve been saying you’d like to try.

These things can matter to you and still be incredibly easy to postpone.

Someday is very accommodating.

There’s always room for something, someday.

Making room starts with deciding

The usual advice is to put the important things in your calendar first.

I agree with that, but I think there’s a step before it.

You have to decide they’re important enough to make room for.

And that can be harder than it sounds.

Making room for something often means there will be less room for something else. You might have to say no to someone. Leave a weekend free. Spend money. Ask someone else to take something on. Decide that your time doesn’t have to be completely filled before you’ve earned the right to use some of it for yourself.

That’s why this isn’t really a calendar problem.

Putting something in your diary takes a few seconds. But deciding that it deserves a place there can take considerably longer.

Give it somewhere to go

Once you’ve decided something matters, give it somewhere to go.

Sometimes that’s a date in your calendar.

Book the weekend away. Arrange dinner. Buy the tickets. Block out the day. Make the appointment.

But not everything needs a specific date straight away.

Some things just need a place in your plans.

You might decide that one of your priorities for the next three months is getting outside more.

You might put “South Island road trip” into your plans for the year, even though you haven’t worked out when you’ll go.

You might decide this month you’re going to reconnect with a couple of friends you haven’t seen in ages.

Or you might decide that this week you’ll leave work on time twice.

The point isn’t to schedule every part of your life.

It’s to stop relying on the things you care about somehow finding their own way into it.

Look beyond what needs to be done

This is one of the reasons I think planning can be so much more useful than simply organising our tasks.

When we sit down to plan a week, it’s very easy to start with everything we need to do.

Meetings.

Appointments.

Deadlines.

Jobs around the house.

Things other people are waiting for.

By the time they’re all accounted for, we’re often looking at whatever space is left and wondering where we’re going to fit ourselves in.

What happens if we do it the other way around?

Start with what you’d like the week, month or year to include.

Who do you want to spend time with?

What would you enjoy?

What do you want to experience?

What needs some attention?

What have you been saying you want to do?

What would make ordinary life feel better?

Then look at how some of those things can become part of your plans.

Not all of them and not all at once.

Just enough that the life you’re planning includes more than the things you have to do.

Small things count too

It’s easy to make this about big dreams.

The overseas trip. Starting a business. Writing a book. Running a marathon.

But a lot of what makes life good happens on a much smaller scale.

Having a catch up with someone you care about.

Going for a walk before dinner.

Sitting outside in the sunshine with a book.

Cooking something you enjoy.

Taking the afternoon off.

Trying somewhere new.

Doing something on a Wednesday night instead of waiting for the weekend.

Making room for what matters doesn’t have to mean rearranging your entire life.

Often it’s about noticing the things that make you feel more alive and giving some of them space.

Your plans say something about your priorities

There will always be things we have to do.

And there will be seasons when work, family, health, finances or other areas of our lives need more from us.

Living intentionally doesn’t mean pretending those realities don’t exist.

But it’s worth looking at your plans regularly and asking whether the things you say matter to you can actually be found in them.

Not perfectly.

Not in equal proportions.

But somewhere.

Because if something matters to you, it deserves more than repeatedly being left for “when things quieten down”.

Give it somewhere to go so there’s a better chance of it actually happening.

Plan for more than what needs doing

This is one of the ideas behind the Live Well Life Planner.

It helps you think about what you want your life to include, then gives those things somewhere to go across your year, and the quarters, months and weeks.

Because planning isn’t just about getting everything done.

It’s also about making more of the things you care about actually happen.