In those moments when you dream, do you imagine the life you'd love to live? Maybe some of what you dream about has already come true, but perhaps some hasn't. You deserve to live the life you desire. But there can be so many 'things' that hold us back, that keep us playing small and stop us from shining our light and truly being ourselves.
You might be a bit like me. There are times when I put myself last or let fear hold me back. Sometimes I ignore the wee voice inside, my intuition, and later regret not listening.
Here's an example. For as long as I can recall I've wanted to paint. But I've told myself I can't, I won't be any good, people will laugh and I'll feel embarrased. Why? Because someone long ago said what I'd painted was ugly.
As I've got older, I realised it was just their opinion. But I'd attached a whole heap of meaning to the comment and created a story in my mind about my ability to paint.
The truth is I've never given painting a good try. I've never had lessons or just allowed myself to paint to see what would come out.
Expressing myself creatively is oh-so important, it's part of what living my life, my way means to me. But I allowed fear and the story I'd been telling myself to hold me back.
Think of an example in your life. Something you dream of doing but you're holding back on. It might be learning a new hobby, changing jobs, ending a relationship, re-training, starting a business or whatever is important to you.
Are you living a life you love?
If you stepped back from your life or perhaps hovered above it, how would you rate it? Is it all you dreamed it would be (and more!), perhaps it's good but there are a few things you'd like to change, or you know big changes are required.
What you dream about
Allow yourself a moment, now, to imagine your life just as you want it to be. Think about your dreams and goals - who do you want to be, and what do you want to do and have. Now write down your answers to these questions...
- What does your life look like?
- Where are you?
- How do you feel?
- Who is with you?
- Are there any smells or tastes?
Imagine it all.
But, something is holding you back
While you light up when you imagine living your life, your way, at the same time you feel vulnerable. Waves of doubt and fear roll through your mind.
What is holding you back? What is stopping you from making the changes, for taking the steps needed to bring your dreams to life?
How to live the life you deserve and desire
Change can be scary, can't it.
It can feel lonely and like you're breaking away from the people and everything you know. So, while you might not be all that happy where you are, moving away is scarier.
As humans we're hard wired to do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure. Crazy aye! It's in our DNA that we'd rather stay in a situation where we're not all that happy because it's familiar. With familiarity comes a sense of certainty and safety.
But before you can make a change or take action, there a two very important questions that need to be answered:
1. Where are you now?
2. Where do you want to be?
Imagine you've just arrived in a town that you've not visited before. A friend used to live here so you phone them and ask for directions to the local museum. What's the first question they're going to ask you? Yep, you guessed it. Where are you now? If you're not able to answer that, how can they (or you) know which way to set off?
Okay, so once you know where you are, you need to know where you're going. Where is the museum located?
Please take time to reflect on those two questions. Write down everything that comes to mind. Having the answers to these questions, sets you up to take action. It provides you with clarity and starts to build your confidence to move forward.
I'd love to hear what's holding you back from living a life you love. Pop over to the REALiving Coaching Facebook page and leave a comment.
Live your life as only you can. Your life. Your way. - Tracey x
P.S. I'm doing a painting workshop at the end of this month. So excited!
P.P.S. Want to know more about how to live a life you love? Check out the Your Best Year Yet online program.